Disintegration
maybe i’m over-analytical, but i cant help to feel that what we have has faded away. as much as i hate to admit it, i cling on still and let the days pass where there’s no longer any love between you and i because i’m holding onto what we used to have. but its clear feelings have faded, and we’ve abused and threatened our relationship one too many times. i cant help but feel like a lot of this was my fault. but you don’t feel the same way for me as you did when we first met and i accept that. you don’t love me like you used to, and i can’t force either of us to stay. i think you and i both got accustomed to the mindset of being alone just in case we broke up and i feel that’s taken a toll on rekindling our relationship. i know you’re tired and ready to give me up at any given second if you have to, and maybe that’s my fault for putting you in that position. or maybe i’m just simply not the one for you, i don’t think i can give you what you need. i know you say you love me, but i don’t think your love is strong enough to keep yourself with me. i think you’re afraid to admit it, but i don’t think this relationship makes you happy anymore. you’ll always be uneasy, and you’ll always be ready to give up at whatever chance you get. its okay to be afraid and its okay to let go. i don’t want to hold you back anymore and i’m ready to face the long term effects of what i caused. i think i’m the one that’s meant to be alone. so with that being said i’m sorry for dragging you along with my confusion. i know all you ever wanted was to love me and have a happy/healthy relationship with me and i’ve even managed to lose the person i love most with that all being given to me. maybe i’m the problem. all i can say is genuinely thank you for sticking around with me this long, i have absolutely no idea why.
